caycay | I've Been Lonely

Cater couldn't even wait long enough to get any words out. Short of getting incredibly indecent in the train car, he pulls their bodies together and refuses to let go as he lets his kiss explain his feelings for him. I missed you too. So, so much.

When they part, certainly flushed faced and breathing harder, Cater still keeps himself close, arms coiled around Idia's lanky body. "And now you can't even hope to escape me," he teases, before pressing his forehead into his chest and breathing deeply, sighing peacefully. Even though he knows he doesn't have to say it, he does, murmuring a heartfelt, "I couldn't stand being away from you."

Idia returns the hug with both arms, now burying his face in Cater's hair so he can soak in his boyfriend's scent. "The worst AFK ever. If it wasn't for video chats, I think I would've lost my mind."

There's so much he wants to ask about the time they were apart, but the staff will be coming around to confirm their check-in once the train starts moving. The last thing Idia wants is for someone to overhear personal conversation... or catch them kissing. He's not ashamed of their relationship, far from it, but he's greedy and doesn't want to share any part of his happiness with strangers.

In the back of his mind, there's a lingering anxiety: today's the day he's supposed to get the official email from STYX about Cater's internship. If it's bad news... maybe they'll have to use this vacation to disappear into the wilderness somewhere. He refuses to be apart from Cater again.

Cater would be lying if he tried to say he hadn't been worried about the very same thing: anxious to know what STYX, what Idia's parents, might think. All of that temporarily vanished, though, the second he laid eyes on his sweet, secretive boyfriend. Even as they break up the longing embrace, he keeps his arm looped in to one of Idia's like he's just an excited friend happy to start an adventure.

He's spent a long time learning how to be multiple things at once. It's rare that those things have been overall a neg positive. Adjusting his vacation bag over his opposite shoulder, Cater's pace is bouncy as they get to their seats. He tosses the bag up into the storage space and flops down into the seat next to Idia, stretching out.

"So, I take it you have plenty of wholesome material for us to consume for the next several hours?" While they wait for their tickets to be checked, he laughs and leans his head against Idia's shoulder. "Or I can just look into your eyes. That'll keep me occupied, too."

Idia leans against Cater in return, now feeling the fatigue of nerves combined with carrying his own bag. He really needs to build up some strength! But knowing they can relax for the next several hours is wonderful.

"I have my tablet if you want to watch a movie, but right now I want to cuddle while you tell me about your family." He clutches one of Cater's hands. He'd mentioned it was okay to show the Diamonds pictures of them together, but he still wanted to keep the true nature of their relationship secret. Let everyone think they're best friends for now, they'd started that way anyway. "Did your sisters drive you crazy the whole time?"

"Eeeeh, you really wanna hear about that?" Cater gives a playful whine, but even then he still smiles, squeezing Idia's hand in his own. As much as he complains about his family...it's nice to think that Idia's warming up to the idea of meeting them. Cater loves his family, even if they make him feel insane half the time.

"It wasn't so bad," he assures, bringing up their joined hands to kiss Idia's knuckles. "I still can't really say no to them when they have their whims but they're doing much better trying to actually pay attention to the things I like. Not that they're very good at it, but the effort means a lot."

Of course, there was one particular "thing he likes" that he had been eager to share with his family. "When I showed them your picture, my mom was so happy. You know what she said? She couldn't remember the last time I'd talked about a friend. She said you should come over--I told you she'd want to meet you. It surprised me, though, that she'd noticed."

Maybe he needs to give them more credit.

Cater's mom was happy when she saw Idia's picture? Honestly, Idia had expected the cute-obsessed Diamond family to grimace at his features even if they were glad their son had a best friend he cherishes. (Never mind that they're far more than simple best friends now.) But for an invitation to be extended to him? Could he handle four extroverted members of the same family crowding around him? Cater's presence would help, but...

No, he has to learn to step out of his comfort zone more. Cater won't let him face the other Diamonds alone, anyway. So Idia nods, even if he looks a bit intimidated at the idea. "M-- Maybe the next time you go home. It might not be until after graduation, though."

Until then, both on this vacation and (hopefully) at STYX, they'll be together far more than they were at NRC. Being truly alone with Cater, no other students and no rules or curfews keeping them apart, feels like a dream. "I don't want to think about any of that right now. I can't believe I have you all to myself." He kisses Cater's knuckles in return, though he lingers a bit longer. He'd taken the chance to let the other boy in, and look at where they are now. Every touch, every kiss, is an opportunity to remind himself that this is real.

"I know, right?"

For now, Cater's more than happy to put talk of his family on the backburner. His sisters were definitely more curious and probing in a way that he has a feeling would set Idia's nerves off in the worst kind of way, so leaving it on such a positive sentiment is for the best.

As Idia's lips trace his knuckles he brushes the back of his fingers against his skin, watching his boyfriend like he's re-admiring everything about him all over again.

"We don't have to worry about anyone or anything bothering us. Nothing to take us away from each other. It's...just, wow." Cater's always enjoyed a good vacation, especially when it takes him away from his family, but this is a whole new level. "It feels like we're in a dream, you know?"

Idia makes a soft sound of agreement. Nothing could drag him away from spending as much time as possible in direct contact with his boyfriend, aside from a polite knock on the compartment door. Just allowing the staff to scan their tickets and wish them a pleasant journey is too much of a distraction, but at last they're settling onto one of the cushioned bench seats together, thighs touching and hands entwined.

It's the start of the uninterrupted time together they've wanted for months, no school rules or grumpy redheaded Housewardens as ever-present threats to outing them. Idia leans in to nuzzle Cater's cheek with his lips, nearly drunk on the warmth and smell of his skin. "It's a long trip, no fast travel option, but I don't mind. Want to pull the privacy shade over the windows so we can make out a bi--"

His phone goes off, a short tone in an electronic minor key that Cater has never heard from the device before. Idia sits back slightly, the color draining from his face, green and yellow creeping through the hair peeking past his hood.

It's the personal text tone he set for his parents.

Cater is just getting ready to give a hearty absolutely to the plans Idia is starting to lay out for them when the chime sounds. His immediate reaction is to just be surprised that Idia didn't silence his phone--but if the look on his boyfriend's face wasn't enough, he's never seen those colors in his hair without it being bad news.

"What--who is it? Do you need to get that?"

He sits up a little straighter, leaning in just a bit closer for support--and maybe his own nerves, too. He still hadn't heard back about the internship, after all.

Idia says nothing, only swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. This is it, the answer they’ve been waiting for all this time. He has to look at his phone but he’s dreading it all the same. It’s with a shaking hand he finally reaches into his hoodie pocket and takes out the slim black and blue device, not looking at the screen just yet.

Instead, he meets Cater’s eyes, his hair flickering more dully with his anxious mood. Here goes nothing, those scared eyes silently say, before he glances down at the phone.

The message is short and to the point, as he’d expect from his parents: Proposal accepted. An expected arrival date follows.

Idia collapses into relieved tears, grinning even as he cries. “Th— they said yes!”

"Wh--" Cater feels his throat tighten, his own expression of apprehension changing between the words "said" and "yes". And then, bursting into delighted laughter, all but throws himself across the seats, barely taking the time to retract the arm rest between them so he can wind himself around Idia and hold on tightly. "R-Really? Seriously? Ha! Seven! I swear, I thought--I was almost convinced--"

That they'd take one look at him and say no, no matter how hard he'd tried to show that he was capable of more than his carefree attitude had shown in his schooling. That now that he had the drive, the motivation, he could put his whole heart into something. And not just his job but their son, as well. It was hard to stay positive underneath his smiles...but they'd done it.

Before he knows it, Cater's crying too, just as relieved and just as happy.

Idia clings, sniffling into Cater’s hair. The green and yellow rapidly return to blue, his flames strengthening as his mood instantly bolsters. So much tension lifting from him at once is almost exhausting, a crash off an adrenaline spike that had only lasted a mere minute but consumed his whole being. Thank the Seven they can truly relax now without that fearful uncertainty hanging over them like a sword of Damocles.

Another step toward positive change, taken together. Idia has so many plans that can actually be considered viable now, what his mind collectively has labeled Project THANATOS. Not a specter of grim death but a sort of psychopomp, gentle change and guidance leading those afflicted with Overblot to a better future. And Cater is the linchpin to all of it.

“Together, always.” He croaks the words out through tears but he’s so happy.

Cater giggles as he sniffles in return, effectively giving himself the hiccups and not caring. "No take backsies," he says, "for real this time."

All smiles, he tilts his head back up again to steal a kiss--salty from their tears but deeply passionate, full of their hopes and their excitement for the future. For all the stress they'd suffered to get here. Cater squeezes Idia's lanky body tight, dotting him with kiss after kiss, soaking up those tears with his lips.

"I'm yours," he murmurs.

With one arm around Cater, Idia taps something on his phone. His drone pops out of a pocket on his bag and floats over to the door, pulling down the privacy shade. That done, Idia drops the phone on the seat and tangles his fingers in Cater’s hair, pulling him into a passionate kiss. They have plenty of alone time now, and after the last week and the stress of waiting, Idia’s glad to have Cater all to himself.

The return kiss is more than welcome, Cater's arms changing from a hug to something more intimate as one hand meanders down to Idia's hip and the other runs up the back of his scalp. He wants to kiss him until they're breathing in tandem, their heartbeats competing to be the loudest rhythm.

He knows they can't get too wild on the train, but it's hardly at the forefront of his brain when he has his boyfriend right here he wants him. His tongue delves into Idia's mouth as he locks their hips together like two wayward puzzle pieces.

Idia groans, lightly sucking on Cater’s tongue. The hand on the ginger’s back slides down slowly until those long fingers can squeeze one of Cater’s cheeks. Maybe they can’t be too wild, but clearly neither of them wants to behave, either. They’re guaranteed privacy in this compartment, Idia’s money saw to that, so he’s not the least bit anxious about being caught by the staff.

He breaks the kiss to delicately scrape the points of his teeth over his boyfriend’s neck, licking the pulse there. The pressure of Cater’s body against his is maddening. He’s tempted to use at least one of his stashed surprises now, but even through the haze of want he knows it’s better to wait until they’re truly alone. They’re going to wreck each other before the summer ends, and Idia can’t wait.

The sensation of those teeth scraping against his skin drives Cater crazy in the best kind of way--he feels a burst of heat spread through him between the teasing there and the hand at his ass. Damn, he missed all of this. Missed Idia's unique mouth, his long fingers, the sounds he makes, the way he moves his body...Idia Shroud. His Idia Shroud.

Moaning into his boyfriend's ear, he nibbles on his earlobe. The hand he has on Idia's waist slips underneath the cloth there, wanting to venture immediately downward but goes up instead to brush those exquisitely sensitive nipples. "I missed you so much," he murmurs, knowing they've already said it what feels like a hundred times but not meaning it any less.

Idia’s eyes go half-lidded, a soft rumble in his throat. As Cater toys with his chest, he lightly kneads the taut muscle under his hand. The temptation of his boyfriend’s toned body is almost irresistible. How he wants to suck at Cater’s neck while jerking him to a heated climax! They haven’t touched in a week, and now that they’re so close Idia feels weak to his urges.

But he doesn’t want to have to hold back, either. In their rented cabin, they’ll be alone and a decent distance from anyone else. They won’t have to restrain themselves in their pleasure. He wants to make Cater moan and cry out until his voice breaks. Still, it’s hard to think about his plans when Cater’s dick presses against his, separated only by a few layers of cloth.

Damn if he doesn't want more, more, more! He breathes Idia's name in pleasured need, hands practically shaking in the desperate way they grasp his cool skin, encouraging the budding heat he lifts out of it. They've always had fun playing with anticipation, but the complete separation from one another had been much too much.

Is this only inflicting a greater torture on one another? How far can they take things before they're safely tucked away in their mountain getaway? All he knows is he's pulling them down further, horizontal against the train's seating.

Fully on his back with Cater on top of him, Idia struggles with the last fraying threads of his self-control. His other hand clutches the neglected half of his boyfriend’s ass, holding him steady for Idia to grind on him. Their mouths meet and their tongues tangle again.

Definitely too far for the train, private compartment or not, but it’s been a week and Cater’s proximity alone is enough to drive him crazy with need. The three hour ride is more than enough for a quickie followed by lots of snuggling, right?

Kissing so deeply with Idia holding their pelvises together, there's no way they're getting out of this without getting off. On the verge of begging Idia to reach in and grip him by the shaft, he satisfies himself with generating more and more friction between their clothed erections.

There's nothing stopping them from going all the way, but the idea of leaving a mess all over the train car...definitely not a good look. And if there's any kind of emergency, neither of them are going to want to get caught with their clothes off, so those'll have to stay on...

When he finally can't take it anymore, Cater forces himself to rise up, out of kissing distance, and gives Idia a lusty smile. "Comfortable?"

As he asks, he moves his legs to carefully disengage so he can slide himself to his knees on the floor.

Seeing Cater go down on his knees has Idia suck in a sharp breath, his pupils dilated. He'd been considering this very idea, and for his boyfriend to mirror his thoughts without a word spoken is a testament to how close they've become. He nods, never taking his eyes off that sly smile he knows will be wrapped around his erection soon enough.

He reaches out to slide his fingers slowly through Cater's hair over and over, wordless praise for his boyfriend's sweet and spicy consideration for their mutual longing. "You're irresistible," he rasps, feeling the throbbing trapped by his pants growing stronger. Once they get to their destination, they'll be on each other right inside the doorway, even with this brief reprieve.

"Sweeter than your favorite candy?" He asks with a giggle in return as he deftly frees Idia's erection from his pants. He licks his lips as if he's been presented with a particularly tasty-looking snack as he uses one hand to gently pull the uncut foreskin taut before diving in, circling the head with his tongue before working Idia fully into his mouth.

One hand still poised at the base, he uses his other hand to reach over and cup Idia's face sweetly, caressing the smooth swoop of his cheekbone and his jawline.

The contrast between the hot mouth working him over and that sweet touch on his cheek has Idia's head swimming. Every time Cater goes down on him, his boyfriend looks like there's nowhere else he'd rather be. The thought pulls a groan from Idia, quickly muffled behind a hand so as not to risk their privacy. It's so hot knowing they're in a semi-public space, just like that afternoon in the school restroom, knowing they should behave but so in love that they can't wait to get somewhere they're guaranteed privacy. Lustful noises and orgasmic expressions and lewd images of self-pleasure over their phones for the last week can't hold a candle to this.

Idia parts his fingers enough for his voice to come through, muffled and husky with desire. "You're so good to me, Cay. Don't hold back, I missed you too much." And then he presses his hand firmly over his mouth again, knowing Cater can make him loud.

Cater glances up at Idia when he makes that request--an eyebrow half-raising. Well, how can he possibly hold back when he's asked so nicely not to? It's all the permission he needs to swallow Idia whole, edging that shaft all the way down his throat in the way he's become so practiced at. He hums as he pulls back up again, sucking Idia like a popsicle in threat of melting.

His hand works any of the skin he doesn't have his mouth on at any given point, palm massaging the swollen base. Idia could buck up into him and explode fast and hard and Cater would savor it, would drink every single drop and lick up the leftovers. This isn't a time to be teasing or draw things out--no, he wants to hear his boyfriend struggle against his body's pleas.

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