caycay | IC Inbox

Cater? My name is Godric. I'm your new warden for this month.

Oh, hey! You’re my first, so be gentle with me, LOL!

[Yes, he said “LOL” out loud.]

[Fortunately, Godric is up to date with...most...lingo.]

How long have you been here?

About a month now, but who’s counting?

[He certainly sounds chipper about the whole death and inmate thing, anyway.]

So, like, how does this work, exactly? You’re basically my chaperone, right? That mean I can do all the fun big-kid-inmate stuff now?

[He can't help but be a little endeared by this and he laughs.]

Ah. Like what? What do you think that entails?

I dunno--like, aren't a bunch of places around here locked to inmates? So, like, you need special permish to get in?

[Cater's still learning the ropes of how this place operates.]

I'd love to pick your brain about where the most fun to be had is. As it is, I'm just wasting away doing custodial most of the time. Like, mega bummersville!

Cater! Hi! I am so sorry for not touching base with you yesterday; things have been a little weird for me over the past couple days. I actually had to take a trip off-ship! But I'm back now, and I want you to know that this lack of prompt responsiveness is not indicative of a lack of dedication to wardenhood. How are you?

[It's been less than a full day since the pairing post went up, Misty; calm the fuck down.]

LOL OMG. [Is she seriously worried about that?] It's totes NBD, FR fam!

[Honestly, his expectations for any warden he has is basically 0. Like, does it really even matter? He's yet to think yes.]

Should I say welcome back?

Sure, if you want! But, um-- FR?

LOL sorry, I mean for real.

[He's just so used to talking like this, he forgets that most people have no idea what he's saying.]

So, like, what were you up to?

I was checking on my girlfriend. She vanished from the ship yesterday.

[Oh. Foot in mouth, Cater Diamond.]

I'm sorry to hear that. You doing okay?

I'm disappointed, she's disappointed, but--

[Misty exhales, heavily.]

She's also okay. She graduated a while ago, so she was at home! Safe.

So...you can just, like, visit people? Is that a warden thing?

The Admiral told us once that it's hard on the systems to have wardens coming and going like it's a day job, and I assume that's still the case... but yes, technically.

Cater! Cater, I'm so glad that the Admiral gave us this opportunity, because I loved your file.

[Things that are probably weird to say: that. Oops.]

Let's meet up, um, FR. IRL! It turns out that we have some personal connections in common that I'm excited to discuss!

Yeah?

[Misty is so funny--she's really got the spirit! He's not sure why she's so excited, what was in his file that inspired this, but of course he's more than willing to find out.]

Sure, I'm down! Where you wanna hang?

How about your cabin? That way, we can also talk about anything you might like changed. Kill two birds with one stone!

[He doesn't know about having any real requests, but they'll figure that all out when she gets there.]

Works for me! Come on over, queen, my door's wide open!

Thank you! See you soon!

[My door's wide open may or may not be literal, but regardless of whether or not it's standing open, Misty will pause at the threshold, giving it a rap and saying:]

Knock, knock! It's me!

[In this case, the door has indeed been left open in anticipation of Misty's arrival. Cater's just lounging on his bed, and he waves her in with a smile when she appears in the doorway. Crossing his legs under him, he scoots his back against the wall.]

Heya! Come on in!

Okay, sooooo--

[Misty perches on the foot end of his bed, leaning in conspiratorially like a kid at a sleepover.]

Obviously this isn't the most important part of your file, but - you know Azul and Jamil!

[The mention of his file has Cater immediately on edge. Just how much about him did she know, now? Guess he was about to find out.]

Yeah! We go to the same school--they're second years, I'm a third year. I heard they were here shortly before I showed up.

That's right! We were inmates together for a long time. Jamil and I even got up to some ill-conceived trouble together!

Oh, yeah? That's my favorite kind of trouble!

[Cater grins, laughing. He's more than happy to reflect on teenage bad decisions, that's for sure.]

Got any favorite stories?

It's...

[Misty pauses as the smile fades away, and then she sighs, shaking her head.]

It's honestly not that good of a story. I've done a lot of bad things in my life, and most of them make really good stories. But this one was just... meh.

Ah...well, we don't have to talk about that if you don't want to. [No need to make the conversation a downer.] Whatever you'd like to, really. Like, I didn't know that they were here so long they made such an impact.

They were! They even graduated inmates of their own. I was... really proud of them.

[The solemnity - and the honesty of the sentiment - flickers across her face, briefly. And then it's over, and she's all smiles again.]

But let's talk about you, mister! Because your file sure had a lot of interesting things to say. Like, for example - you're full of complete crap!

[The big grin does not fade as she says this.]

Yeah?

[Cater smiles to hear that about his schoolmates, but his expression morphs to one of--perhaps nervous surprise as Misty cheerfully calls him out.]

What? That's totally mean, if it says that! What a rude file, geez, I'm gonna get a complex...

Oh, no, please don't get a complex; trust me, I get it.

[She pulls her legs up onto the bed and sits crosslegged, completing the girl-at-sleepover vibe.]

Like, for me-- well, there's a lot of reasons why I used to put on an act for people. I still sometimes struggle with the urge to do it now! This smile is twenty-five percent fake.

[She pauses, and then visibly tones down the grin a bit. There. Now it's only fifteen percent fake.]

I don't like being vulnerable in front of people, I don't like letting people see the real me because the real me was picked on when I was a kid - and, honestly, manipulating people can be really easy. And fun! A totally bad idea that isn't worth it, but still a really good time for the person doing it.

[She shrugs, her expression turning genuinely fond.]

We're still going to work on better coping mechanisms for you, but I don't want you to think I don't understand the draw.

[Cater's expressions is practically frozen as Misty says her piece. She's so open about being fake, about putting on a smile when she doesn't mean it, about manipulating others--like, how is he supposed to take that? Is he supposed to be inspired? Right now, he just feels a cold, creeping sense of dread.]

Better coping mechanisms, huh?

[His smile falls a little, eyes glancing away.]

Not that that wasn't a nice speech, but I don't really see why I should change.

Well, of course you don't. You've only been here a couple months.

[And look at that, he's dropped the act a little! Should she thank him? Would that be weird?

... Maybe she'll wait and thank him at the end of the conversation.]

So, Cater. Who would you say you talk to the most here?

Easy, I talk to Idia the most.

[He laughs.]

I mean, when he lets me. He likes to run away from me--which he always did back at school, too.

Oh, trust me, I have so much experience with that. And we can tackle that! What about other people? Your, um, your past temps, or the people you work with, or... is there anyone in particular that you sit with in the dining hall or see a lot around the ship?

It's not a big deal, seriously.

[Cater glances away quickly.]

Like...you, mostly?

[He's a little ashamed of it--in the past, he'd always been good about amassing connections quickly, being forward and friendly with everyone, so he's pretty out of his element, here. The Barge isn't at all like being in school, being surrounded by peers of his own age and of relatively-similar life experiences. He's struggled to get to know the people he shares the ship with, gravitating instead toward an uncharacteristic isolation.]

IDK. I guess I talk sometimes with my last temp.

[Mostly, he keeps himself company, literally, but that's not something he's ready to admit to.]

Oh, um-- who were you with?

[Whoever they are, she should talk to them, she thinks - but damn if that prospect isn't a little daunting. It's probably a warden who knew her before she was a peer - and, quite possibly, one who still thinks that she doesn't deserve to be.]

His name is Zichen--not that it really matters. I've only really talked to the guy a few times, so there's not all much of a relationship to analyze.

[Which he's, admittedly, a little annoyed at himself over. He should've been doing a better job at talking up the temporary partners he's had, to make it look like he was being more outgoing and social. Instead, it's painfully obvious how isolated he's been.]

Well, I'd still like to hear your thoughts. Are there any pitfalls that he made that I can avoid?

Nope, none at all. In fact, he didn't ask a lot of questions.

[Which he was totally fine with. Did it make for an amazing warden? Probably not, but Cater hadn't given him much of a chance and he wasn't keen on giving Misty one, either. Still, she had an advantage, both in knowledge and in persistence.]

We got along just fine.

And is there anything in particular that he does that you'd like me to do too? I can't make promises, obviously, but--

[Midmorning - late enough that Misty assumes Cater is probably awake, but early enough that she hopes to catch him before he leaves his cabin - Cater will receive a knock on his door.]

Yoo-hoo, anybody home? I brought breakfast!

[Being a teenager, Cater's definitely succumbed to the instinct of staying up too late and sleeping in now that he doesn't have to wake up early for school. He's awake, at least, but still dozing on-and-off in bed when the knock comes at the door. He swings out of bed to answer, yawning.]

Breakfast? What'd I do to deserve a special delivery?

[Food is the perfect way to get a growing boy up and on his feet, even if he's still in pajamas.]

Being paired with me!

[She chirps, flashing him a grin; once inside, she picks the nearest flat surface and starts unpacking pancakes, eggs (sunnyside up and scrambled), toast, and - perhaps a little incongruously - congee.]

My warden and I used to cook breakfast for each other all the time, so - I wanted to continue the tradition by cooking for my inmate.

Sounds like I'm going to have to up my game, then.

[If she and her warden cooked for each other, he'd have to return the favor to properly carry on that tradition.]

Oh, but I need permission to use the kitchen, don't I?

[He makes his bed up nicely while Misty prepares the breakfast so they'll have a more suitable surface to sit on. When he's done, he lets out a whistle--look at that spread!]

Dang, you really went all-out!

You can use mine if you want, but also, don't feel obligated; I don't even know if you like to cook, so I have no expectations on that front! Really, I just wanted a good excuse to chat. How are things going with your friend - with Idia?

I don't mind! I'm not, like, the best or anything, but I used to help my mom out around the kitchen from time-to-time. I'd cook at school sometimes, too, when I was in the mood.

[More often he'd use his allowance to buy from the cafeteria and vending machines, or whine at Trey to cook for him, but sometimes!]

Things are fine.

[A suspiciously bland answer? Well, he is a teenager.]

Really? Oh, that's good!

[Misty sits right down on the end of his bed, plate of food in her lap, and waits expectantly. That's definitely not going to cut it, mister.]

Fine how?

Oh, well, you know.

[Give him a moment. He's going to use breakfast as an excuse to think over what to say, because he still can't help himself. Cater gets his plate set and moves himself to the top side of the bed, tapping his fork against the plate.]

We're not really talking right now, but that's pretty normal LOL.

Oh-- I'm sorry.

[She sets her own fork down, giving him her full attention.]

Did something happen?

No, no, it's fine, really!

[Cater glances toward the wall where his cabin joins with Idia's, as if worried that the other teen can overhear them.]

Things just got a little awkward with those shared dreams that were going around. But, anyway, radio silence is much better than being actively run away from, so I'm not complaining.

[He bites into his toast. See, it's so fine that he can eat his breakfast no problem!]

[Uh-huh.

Still, Misty doesn't push immediately - they're freshly paired, and she's following her WWPD (What Would Pagan Do) playbook, which means she's going to try to ease in gently to this, even if easing in gently isn't one of her biggest strengths.

That doesn't mean she's going to do nothing at all, though.]

Okay, well, I have two homework assignments for you. The first one is to come back and update me in a week - just let me know how things are going with you two.

[She takes a small bite of congee.]

The second one is to have a genuine conversation with someone. It can be over the network if you want - actually, I'd prefer if it was, because then we can review it together afterwards! It also doesn't have to be about a serious topic, and I'm not going to ask you to bare your soul or spill any secrets; it can totally be surface-level smalltalk if you want. But I want it to be one hundred percent real on your end. Okay?

Aw, what--you're giving me homework? Dang, I thought dying meant my school days were over.

[But he listens to his assignments all the same, seeming to be a little relieved she stopped questioning him about the Idia situation. He nods along as he scoops eggs into his mouth.]

Sounds easy enough. I get a week for both?

That's what I was thinking, yes. Does that sound like a fair amount of time to you?

Yeah, totes! For sure.

[He pauses to ruminate on this as he eats a bit more of his breakfast, digging into those pancakes.]

Just hypothetically, if I failed the assignment, how bad would my punishment be?

Well, that depends; is having to talk with me about why you think you failed a punishment to you?

No way! Talking to you could never be a punishment.

[He gives his most charming, goodest boy smile.]

[In a sing-songy voice:]

Even if you're full of shit, I appreciate you saying it!

Aww, come on! I totally mean it!

[He pouts, lifting up his plate for emphasis.]

How could I not when you bring me surprise breakfast?

Is it good?

[She considers her plate, stirring the congee thoughtfully. Yes, it's an unorthodox pick considering neither of them are East Asian, but Pagan had made it for her and she'd made it for Pagan and now it's tradition.]

If you tell me what you like, I can cook to your tastes.

It is! I'm a bit of a foodie, so I like trying new things. Nothing's off limits!

[Of course, he has his dislikes, too, but as she's learning, he doesn't like to share negativity, no matter how minor.]

But I looooove spicy food the most. The hotter the better! What about you? For when it's my turn to make breakfast.

Oh, less spice? Less spice for me, I think.

[Sorry your warden is a white lady from New Jersey, Cater.]

But, um, really, I'll try anything. I mean, it's the thought that counts, right?

[The fake-looking smile is reflexive, but she makes an effort to tamp down on it - and after a moment or two, it actually does start to look as genuine as she means it to be.]

[Cater giggles at her hesitation. It's okay, Misty. He knows plenty of people who aren't spice hounds.]

No problem, no problem. I won't surprise you with a tastebud-melting spice bomb. More for me!

Hi, Cater! How's your homework assignment going, and even more importantly, how are you doing in general?

Hey, Misty! Would you believe me if I said I'm nailing it and everything is going amazing?

[Because she shouldn't.]

Of course! I would never accuse you of lying.

[Not without clear evidence, anyway.]

But that just means I want details about all the things you're nailing and all the amazing things that are happening! Who did you choose to have your honest conversation with?

[Cater gives a laugh that doesn't at all sound incredibly fake.]

Totes!

[Oof. Where to even start, and how to put a positive spin on it.]

Soooo, I had some idle chats here and there but as far as honesty goes--Idia and I had a talk, and I'm pretty sure he's not avoiding me anymore. Great, right?

Totally. What do you think helped with that? Specifically.

What helped with getting him to stop avoiding me or what helped with getting the chance to talk to him in the first place? Because if it's the former--he finally realized we're more alike than he thought.

[Is it a sort of trauma bonding? Probably.]

If it's the latter...I might have gotten super drunk. Does it still count if I was honest because I was wasted? It counts, right?

It's not ideal, but this was also your first try! Next time we'll make being sober a requirement, but for now, I'm still going to count it as a successfully completed assignment.

Was it scary for you?

[Wow...he was expecting a lecture. It throws him off when she actually accepts it as progress. He's quiet for a second as he recalibrates, speaking a bit less happy-go-luckily.]

Not really...I mean, not at first. When I sobered up I was pretty terrified. Well, okay, I was hungover first. And then I was terrified.

[Gently:]

It must have been a weighty topic. What was the conversation about?

[Cater, at once, doesn't want to say--because it is a heavy topic, just like she said. And it's not like there's any reason not to trust her, but...well, he just doesn't like talking about it. Still...he has a feeling she might already know some of these things about him.]

In the file you have about me...does it say how I died?

[He doesn't actually know just how much of his bullshit she has clocked from that, alone.]

It does. I'm sorry.

[ Whether she's apologizing for the death, or for knowing, or for both - even she isn't totally sure, but it seems like the thing to say. ]

Cool.

[It's so incredibly uncool, is what his tone says. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his voice lighter than he feels.]

Well, I'd lied about it when he asked me what happened when I first got here. I said something or other while I was shitfaced that clued him into it and he challenged me on it...and I couldn't really keep my lie straight. So...yeah, we talked about that.

Edited 2024-07-23 00:50 (UTC)

Was he upset that you'd lied?

...no. I think he understood why it was something I wouldn't just come out and say. It's not exactly a fun "what are you in for" anecdote.

I know what you mean. And I hope you know that that's totally an okay thing to keep you yourself - or even to lie about sometimes, depending on the situation! Major personal revelations do not automatically fall under the "be honest with others" clause; you can still choose who to confide in.

I appreciate that.

[If he had to go around telling everyone just how he got here...well, he wouldn't. Didn't matter how little progress it meant he'd make.]

Not exactly my most shining moment. Like, literally the opposite of that. Definitely a on-a-need-to-know-basis kind of thing.

I'm glad we're on the same page! So, about the rest of the conversation--?

[That seems to take some of the severity out of Cater's voice. He starts lighting up into the more animated version of himself that he likes to showcase.]

Oh, well, nothing important. I mean I was all weepy, and I cried about how I've liked him for three years and wanted him to pay attention to me. Mega cringe.

He didn't say it was cringe, did he?

[Because she will punch a bitch if so.

Metaphorically. Probably.]

Oh, no. No, no. I think he was just surprised. He was way too busy keeping me off the pavement to stop and comment about how cringe I was, anyway.

[Actually, he's kind of surprised, himself, that Idia didn't come back later and call him cringe. He was...gentle, all things considered.]

[Misty nods sagely, falling silent for a moment or two. Then--]

It's... kind of a mindfuck, isn't it. When you're vulnerable in front of somebody, even by accident, and they don't take advantage of it the way you expected them to.

Good day, Cater Diamond.

My name is Thrawn. I work alongside you on custodial duty. If you are interested, I have a one-day experiment for us. Should it succeed, it may reduce your workload there, in half the time. It may also - and this could be either a warning or an additional incentive - irritate Richter Belmont.

Are you interested?

Hiya, Thrawn!

[This is a weird introduction, but hey!]

I'm all for making things easier. Think it'll be fun? If so, I'm deffo in!

[He doesn't really have any stakes, otherwise. What's the worst that could happen?]

Excellent. I believe it will be.

Richter believes that the most efficient use of his bloated team of fifteen inmates is to go floor by floor, every day, scrubbing everything down. When I told him this was ill-advised, he dismissed me as attempting to militarize the ship.

I am reaching out to all of us on custodial now. We pick one day in the near future - just one day - wherein all of us take a single floor. No top-down work, with the more difficult levels 1 and 2 being assigned more than one person.

He believes he knows the best way to conduct things but he misunderstands that we can accomplish the same goal in half the time and manpower. I plan to humiliate him by proving otherwise.

Do you think you can be ready in five days' time?

Wow! It sounds like you have a lot of feelings about this!

[Or maybe just a lot of feelings about Richter.]

Yeah, sure, five days from now is fine. As long as I know the plan, I'll stick to it.

Excellent. I look forward to our partnership in this endeavor.

You know, I recently compared this place to Reddit, but this workplace drama is eclipsing that! Now I'm thinking it's more like breakroom bulletin board drama.

Also, I want you to know that I'm proud of you.

LMAO. The vibes are kind of, like, PA post-it notes, aren't they?

[But, anyway--]

What did I do? Not that I, like, don't appreciate it.

Regardless of your motives, are you going to help out that woman who reached out to you? The "new kid in town"?

Oh.

[Why is he getting flustered? Why does he feel like he needs to argue against doing something more-or-less nice?]

Well, I mean, it's in my best interest. Seems kind of like this is causing a mass exodus in custodial and I'm not about that cleaning the entire ship alone life.

Does the fact that it's in your best interest and other people's best interest make it any less of a good thing to do?

Edited 2024-08-18 22:45 (UTC)

I dunno! I didn't think that hard about it!

[This feels weird! He's fine being a selfish teenager!]

Well, for the record, I don't think it does. And there's also nothing wrong with doing things in your own best interest! I don't even think there's anything wrong with that being your primary motivator. It totally is with me a lot of the time, and I'm Admiral-approved and everything.

[Cater has no idea how to feel. When was the last time anyone had told him they were proud of him? He couldn't remember. He didn't really do anything praise-worthy, like, ever.]

I'm so going to barf.

[Clearly flustered, being contrary is his immediate impulse.]

Guess it's a good thing I'm in custodial. LOL.

[With an edge of genuine glee:]

Am I like an embarrassing great aunt now?

It's like the family reunion I didn't ask for!

[Ugggh...]

But, uh...thanks.

You're welcome. And some other time, I would love to chat about how great and self-fulfilling selfishness can be, and how, if you really think about it, it's a sign of someone valuing themselves, and how it only becomes a problem if your own self-interest isn't just a very important thing to you but also the only important thing to you--

But we can talk about that later. For now, good luck with your meeting, Mister Go-Getter!

[That's a whole lot of words, Misty.]

Thanks, Auntie. I'll be sure to tell you all about it! Maybe I'll get promoted to be Big Boy Scrubber.

[Bright and cheery and utterly delighted:]

Hi, Cater! Can you come see me in my cabin, please?

[Oh, Misty sounded like she was in a good mood! He wondered what the occasion was.]

Sure thing, Queen! I'll be there in a jiffy.

[As promised, one Cater Diamond is knocking at her cabin door moments later!]

Thank you!

[She singsongs, before hanging up; when he arrives, she pulls open the door before he's even finished with his knock.]

If you had to guess, what would you say is the best possible news that someone can get on the Barge?

[Cater is pretty sure he knows the answer, which makes his heart skip a beat...but he also doesn't want to jump the gun and get himself excited for nothing. He hums, perhaps a bit more emphatically than he needs to, and taps a finger to his cheek.]

Getting transferred off of custodial?

Very funny.

[She says, clicking her tongue at him.]

But try again!

What? I think it's a fair guess!

[He huffs, but a somewhat hopeful, somewhat anxious smile starts to creep across his face]

It's not like...I mean, you're not talking about graduation, right?

Is there any reason why I shouldn't be?

[Come ooooon, Cater.]

You've earned it.

You mean--for real?! I honestly don't feel like I did anything!

[He has noticed a shift, but it's been pretty subtle, a gradual change in habits and attitude.]

Oh, graduation taking you by surprise is pretty typical! It did for me, too; I felt like I put in a lot of work and effort, but I still assumed that nothing I could do was ever going to be enough for the Admiral.

[A pause.]

But, Cater, you don't actually think you did nothing, do you?

Okay, maybe not nothing, but...I don't know. Do you really think I deserve it?

[Was he really ready? It felt both amazing but...daunting. Like he had something to live up to, now. A title he had to prove he was worthy of.]

Do you think you don't?

[Sorry, Cater. She may not officially be his warden anymore, he may not officially need a warden anymore, but she's still going to play the role.]

If you really don't think you deserve it, I'd be curious to hear why! But if you can't think of anything specific, and it's just a kneejerk reaction... then maybe that's a sign.

[He takes a deep breath. Okay, if Misty was encouraging him...he needed to think it through. Cater shifts from foot to foot.]

I think I'm just...surprised. Maybe I got too used to things being the way they are. It's kind of scary thinking that a new chapter is starting, but...kind of exciting, too? I always used to dread the idea of transitioning, because that meant starting over, and I'd feel so helpless. That was why I got here in the first place--because thinking about graduating from school after I'd spent years there when I'd never had that much time in one place before--the idea made me completely fall apart.

[He rubs one arm, looking sheepish.]

But I'm not going to do that, now. Cut everyone out and pretend I don't care, I mean. I want to actually...move forward with a real plan, and hold onto things that mean a lot to me even if that opens me up to any of the harder things that come with it. I guess it helps that I know I won't be doing it alone.

[So...maybe he was ready, after all. To really be standing here and find himself not being so desperate to stay.]

[Misty is quiet as he muses; she even keeps her body language under control, even though she wants to gasp and grin and reach out and clasp his hands. It's only when he's done that she says, with a sly smile:]

Did you just talk yourself around to believing it after all?

IC Inbox - TLV

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I'm so sorry for how late this is

no worries!

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