caycay | IC Inbox

Oh, no, please don't get a complex; trust me, I get it.

[She pulls her legs up onto the bed and sits crosslegged, completing the girl-at-sleepover vibe.]

Like, for me-- well, there's a lot of reasons why I used to put on an act for people. I still sometimes struggle with the urge to do it now! This smile is twenty-five percent fake.

[She pauses, and then visibly tones down the grin a bit. There. Now it's only fifteen percent fake.]

I don't like being vulnerable in front of people, I don't like letting people see the real me because the real me was picked on when I was a kid - and, honestly, manipulating people can be really easy. And fun! A totally bad idea that isn't worth it, but still a really good time for the person doing it.

[She shrugs, her expression turning genuinely fond.]

We're still going to work on better coping mechanisms for you, but I don't want you to think I don't understand the draw.

[Cater's expressions is practically frozen as Misty says her piece. She's so open about being fake, about putting on a smile when she doesn't mean it, about manipulating others--like, how is he supposed to take that? Is he supposed to be inspired? Right now, he just feels a cold, creeping sense of dread.]

Better coping mechanisms, huh?

[His smile falls a little, eyes glancing away.]

Not that that wasn't a nice speech, but I don't really see why I should change.

Well, of course you don't. You've only been here a couple months.

[And look at that, he's dropped the act a little! Should she thank him? Would that be weird?

... Maybe she'll wait and thank him at the end of the conversation.]

So, Cater. Who would you say you talk to the most here?

Easy, I talk to Idia the most.

[He laughs.]

I mean, when he lets me. He likes to run away from me--which he always did back at school, too.

Oh, trust me, I have so much experience with that. And we can tackle that! What about other people? Your, um, your past temps, or the people you work with, or... is there anyone in particular that you sit with in the dining hall or see a lot around the ship?

It's not a big deal, seriously.

[Cater glances away quickly.]

Like...you, mostly?

[He's a little ashamed of it--in the past, he'd always been good about amassing connections quickly, being forward and friendly with everyone, so he's pretty out of his element, here. The Barge isn't at all like being in school, being surrounded by peers of his own age and of relatively-similar life experiences. He's struggled to get to know the people he shares the ship with, gravitating instead toward an uncharacteristic isolation.]

IDK. I guess I talk sometimes with my last temp.

[Mostly, he keeps himself company, literally, but that's not something he's ready to admit to.]

Oh, um-- who were you with?

[Whoever they are, she should talk to them, she thinks - but damn if that prospect isn't a little daunting. It's probably a warden who knew her before she was a peer - and, quite possibly, one who still thinks that she doesn't deserve to be.]

His name is Zichen--not that it really matters. I've only really talked to the guy a few times, so there's not all much of a relationship to analyze.

[Which he's, admittedly, a little annoyed at himself over. He should've been doing a better job at talking up the temporary partners he's had, to make it look like he was being more outgoing and social. Instead, it's painfully obvious how isolated he's been.]

Well, I'd still like to hear your thoughts. Are there any pitfalls that he made that I can avoid?

Nope, none at all. In fact, he didn't ask a lot of questions.

[Which he was totally fine with. Did it make for an amazing warden? Probably not, but Cater hadn't given him much of a chance and he wasn't keen on giving Misty one, either. Still, she had an advantage, both in knowledge and in persistence.]

We got along just fine.

And is there anything in particular that he does that you'd like me to do too? I can't make promises, obviously, but--

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