[Cater shakes his head. He feels on the precipice of a panic attack, but Trey's comforting hand on his back keeps him from tipping over all the way. Still, his breathing is strained. Sometimes, it really feels like he's back against a door, trying to keep all of this in when he's slamming into him full force, trying to get in, and his feet are giving out underneath him.]

No, no, it isn't you. I've been running away. I started running away before we met.

[After losing Vil. It had always hurt, losing friends. But that one had been too much. He just wanted someone to be there with him, but how could he trust that he could stay?]

If we weren't here and you'd messaged me, I'd probably have blown you off until you stopped trying.

[Even being plain now, even being told that he matters, he still feels like he needs to run away. He believes Trey, and he believes Vil, but that's the problem. That's what's so scary.]

I can't help thinking that no matter what either of us do, something's going to happen that's completely outside of our control. I can't shut out that voice.

[Cater clutches at his own hair.]

It's so loud.