caycay | IC Inbox - Duplicity

[Small smile still stuck in place as Riddle leans into his palm, Cater regards his housewarden with a measure of confusion.]

What do you mean? It's not like...I mean, I haven't really done anything.

[Maybe not consciously.]

I wouldn't take credit for something like that.

Of course you have.

[It's quietly insisted.]

Especially since coming here. Even though... you don't have any obligation to act as my soldier any longer, you still do. You never even hesitated.

When you arrived, and then threw that party for me, I felt more like myself than I have ever since I arrived several months before.

And... you did all of that, while struggling to adjust not only to a new world, but the loss of your Signature Spell.

[A tiny smile back.]

You're much more amazing than you give yourself credit for.

[Cater stammers slightly. Of course, his immediate impulse is to argue that he's not amazing, especially not now, and what happened in Veracity all but confirms it. That would be going around in circles, though, and he can't deny the way Riddle's explanation makes his heart thump.]

That's just, you know...

[Just, what? He really went above and beyond and he knows it--he'd been exhausted. None if it had mattered but that hadn't stopped him.]

I like seeing you smile.

[Riddle can't help but give a little giggle at that reaction.]

That's a whole lot to do just to make someone smile, isn't it?

[A gentle tease before he presses a kiss into his palm.]

...it's worth it.

[His embarrassed expression softens under Riddle's kiss, like that gentleness is rippling outward in waves.]

I remember when we first met. You didn't smile so easily, back then. I'm glad; it's nice to see you so much happier.

[There's a surprised blink, and then a softened look of thoughtfulness.]

... I don't think it ever really occurred to me just how much pain I was in back then. I was just... angry. Angry at a lot of things. Angry at myself, too.

Then I came here and... I was still angry. And scared. I had to rely on other people for my personal needs more than ever.

But they insisted on patience with myself while I struggled. That patience gave me room to breathe, think, and be more present. And... I think that was a first for me in a long time. Before then, I was always stuck in the past or the future.

[His thumb strokes Cater's cheek.]

It sounds like you're in a similar kind of trap.

[Completely understanding, Cater nods. Of course, his own pain was--and has been--moreso ignored than unrecognized. Certainly, there are plenty of other feelings he's been denying to acknowledge, as well, especially in Duplicity.]

It takes a lot to admit when you have a problem...and even more to ask for help.

[He's done plenty of thinking, plenty of self-reflection and discussion. But every time he's faced with a choice to be open and honest...he chokes up, falls back on old habits. Cater spent so long having no hands held out to him for support that now what they're there, it's a scary thought, trusting they won't let him flounder.]

You've really worked hard on yourself. You've come a long way.

[Riddle nods in return. Especially considering how prideful he could be. And yet, he was shown such patience and kindness that that resistance too slowly melted away.]

I was fortunate enough to have some really wonderful help.

And now I'm going to pay that forward to you. One day, one step at a time.

IC Inbox - Duplicity

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