caycay | IC Inbox - Duplicity

[Stop it, his head is screaming at him. Stop caring so much about me! What we feel doesn't matter, it'll never matter, none of this means anything! And it hurts so bad because he wants it to, but it doesn't. It never will. And all this effort makes it so much harder for him to keep himself at arm's length.

He should get up right now. He should leave and walk back to his own place right now. Say something harsh and terrible that he doesn't even mean just to sabotage whatever it is that's happening before he's sunk so far into it that he suffocates.

But all he can manage is a whimper. No matter how he's feeling or what he's thinking, he can't bear to leave.

Cater chases Riddle's lips for another kiss even his cheeks grow wet with quiet tears.]

[Ah...

His heart breaks with that sound. His brow furrows as he kisses Cater again, and then, if he'll let him, he'll deepen the kiss.

Riddle doesn't know what to do. He thinks he might just be making things worse...

But he doesn't know what he needs to do to make it better.

As he feels those tears roll down Cater's cheeks and hit his thumbs, they move to brush them away.]

[Cater doesn't know if this is soothing him because it's what he needs or because it's distracting him from how scared and powerless he feels. Either way, Cater doesn't let himself analyze what they're doing. He just lets it happen, melting into the kiss as his tight hold around Riddle loses some of that tension. He fully embraces his housewarden's physical affection even if he can't bring himself to properly accept the emotional kind, shifting his legs into a wider position so they can tangle with the ones between them.

Each brush of Riddle's soft fingers chases away the nervous energy that had seized up Cater's body, each slip of their lips and tongue returning his erratic breathing back to something more normal.]

[Okay... good.. he's calming. Something's finally helping rather than intensifying Cater's anxiety.

Riddle allows himself to relax into the position as well, one shorter leg lightly tangling with a longer one. He'll continue the kissing until Cater's fully calmed down... if that's possible.]

[It's hard to say how long they carry on like that, the room quiet save for nothing but the sounds of their mouths and breaths in the dark. One of Cater's hands ends up resting at the back of Riddle's neck, fingers winding through his hair. When he finally does break their locked lips, he doesn't go far, his breath still hot against Riddle's skin.]

...I'm keeping you awake.

[After that bout of kissing, Riddle can't help but pant a bit. Damn... they probably shouldn't be getting worked up so late at night.

Yet the words only get a soft noise of amusement from him, and he kisses the corner of his mouth.]

Feeling a little better now?

Edited 2023-05-19 22:04 (UTC)

Yeah.

[For now. Sooner or later, the same anxieties will come creeping back...but right now, he feels soothed. Without really thinking about it, he finds one of Riddle's hands with his own and threads their fingers together.]

How about you?

[A softening of his features at that response.]

Good...

[Gently, he slides off Cater and back to his side, keeping their hands intertwined. He snuggles up against his side.]

Much better. Thank you.

[Cater smiles to himself, shifting to his side so he can properly fit their bodies close together. He doesn't know if he'll fall asleep, but in this moment he has peace. The loneliness monster has retreated back into its cavern. Face in Riddle's hair, he murmurs a reciprocal:]

Thank you.

[He gives a happy little hum, nuzzling into him. Though... they both still had quite a bit of stress, didn't they? Hm...

He pulls back.]

Actually... speaking of the diffuser, Jamil gave me one to help with sleep.

It's helped me get back to sleep after nightmares before.

[He presses a kiss to Cater's forehead, then pulls away to go set that up.]

IC Inbox - Duplicity

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject