...heh. You've always seen right through me--I'm really no match for you.
[Proud of him, huh? Damn it. How could he steamroll over his expectations so easily? How can he be so nice to him when he's been so fake and so cold and so unwilling to actually be a good friend? Cater ducks his head as Trey's gentleness and understanding threatens to completely rupture him. His throat clenches shut and he tries to gulp past it.
How can you say that when I'm such a coward? I don't want to do this. I never wanted to do this.]
I never thought...
[Each sentiment is harder than the last one. He knows if he isn't careful, he'll just spill everything out at once and he doesn't want to just dump all of his dark thoughts all over his friend.]
I never thought I'd see you again. It was always like that. Every time I got comfortable with someone, I had to leave. The better of friends I am with someone, the worse it is. High School graduation was supposed to be the last time I ever saw you, but we're here together and I can't help how attached I'm getting, but even this has a deadline. Once we're in our senior year, we won't be here anymore. We'll have festivals and then what? It haunts me. I think about it every single day. I think if I slip up, if I'm not careful, someone's going to get too close and I'm going to let it happen, and the fallout is going to be devastating.
[He should've known. He was already feeling fragile. Of course he wouldn't be able to stop himself.]
You shouldn't be proud of me, Trey. I still don't think this is a good idea, because I want it so badly.
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[Proud of him, huh? Damn it. How could he steamroll over his expectations so easily? How can he be so nice to him when he's been so fake and so cold and so unwilling to actually be a good friend? Cater ducks his head as Trey's gentleness and understanding threatens to completely rupture him. His throat clenches shut and he tries to gulp past it.
How can you say that when I'm such a coward? I don't want to do this. I never wanted to do this.]
I never thought...
[Each sentiment is harder than the last one. He knows if he isn't careful, he'll just spill everything out at once and he doesn't want to just dump all of his dark thoughts all over his friend.]
I never thought I'd see you again. It was always like that. Every time I got comfortable with someone, I had to leave. The better of friends I am with someone, the worse it is. High School graduation was supposed to be the last time I ever saw you, but we're here together and I can't help how attached I'm getting, but even this has a deadline. Once we're in our senior year, we won't be here anymore. We'll have festivals and then what? It haunts me. I think about it every single day. I think if I slip up, if I'm not careful, someone's going to get too close and I'm going to let it happen, and the fallout is going to be devastating.
[He should've known. He was already feeling fragile. Of course he wouldn't be able to stop himself.]
You shouldn't be proud of me, Trey. I still don't think this is a good idea, because I want it so badly.