It figured that eventually, reality would force its way in.
Things could only go so well for so long with the way they were going, enjoying the day-to-day and ignoring the ever looming expanse of future. Cater and Idia were coming upon a ledge, closing their eyes to the plummet that waited for them. Perhaps the two of them were ready to take it, hands clasped together as they succumbed to the blackness.
Maybe they were kidding themselves.
It's a spiral of thought that Cater hasn't been prone to since the two of them had stopped dating. The speedbumps they had were so small, Idia struggling with his self-image, his worries. Cater was always ready to give him what he needed, comfort him, make things better. These things were relatively easy, fleeting moments of blackness in an otherwise blissful life.
The day that his own darkness came creeping back up on him, he'd known there was going to be a big Heartslabyul party, so it was going to be a day off for him and Idia. Of course, there'd be plenty of messaging to tide one another over. No big deal. Cater being on his phone is such standard behavior that nobody really minds him being on it for the party anyway. Things are going fine enough...until the topic of senior year comes up. A comment about "missing Trey's baking" snowballs into a big discussion about summer and about the third year internships. Cater doesn't say anything, feeling cold the longer the topic goes on, smiling and laughing along.
And then someone asks him directly.
What about you, Cater? Where are you interning?
He doesn't have an answer. Somehow, he manages to come up with something believable for what Cay-Cay would do. Something fun and fleeting and full of bright lights and colors and fun. Theme park planning, he says. Such absolute bullshit. The rest of the party crawls by, Cater's texts to Idia having abruptly stopped because he can't trust himself to keep up his happy-go-lucky persona while he feels so sick inside. While he forces sweets in his mouth and pitches shallow compliments and his body is carved out.
But when it's all ever and cleaned up and everyone is heading to bed he can finally lock his door and send the SOS.
NEXT CHAPTER: TEASER TRAILER
Things could only go so well for so long with the way they were going, enjoying the day-to-day and ignoring the ever looming expanse of future. Cater and Idia were coming upon a ledge, closing their eyes to the plummet that waited for them. Perhaps the two of them were ready to take it, hands clasped together as they succumbed to the blackness.
Maybe they were kidding themselves.
It's a spiral of thought that Cater hasn't been prone to since the two of them had stopped dating. The speedbumps they had were so small, Idia struggling with his self-image, his worries. Cater was always ready to give him what he needed, comfort him, make things better. These things were relatively easy, fleeting moments of blackness in an otherwise blissful life.
The day that his own darkness came creeping back up on him, he'd known there was going to be a big Heartslabyul party, so it was going to be a day off for him and Idia. Of course, there'd be plenty of messaging to tide one another over. No big deal. Cater being on his phone is such standard behavior that nobody really minds him being on it for the party anyway. Things are going fine enough...until the topic of senior year comes up. A comment about "missing Trey's baking" snowballs into a big discussion about summer and about the third year internships. Cater doesn't say anything, feeling cold the longer the topic goes on, smiling and laughing along.
And then someone asks him directly.
What about you, Cater? Where are you interning?
He doesn't have an answer. Somehow, he manages to come up with something believable for what Cay-Cay would do. Something fun and fleeting and full of bright lights and colors and fun. Theme park planning, he says. Such absolute bullshit. The rest of the party crawls by, Cater's texts to Idia having abruptly stopped because he can't trust himself to keep up his happy-go-lucky persona while he feels so sick inside. While he forces sweets in his mouth and pitches shallow compliments and his body is carved out.
But when it's all ever and cleaned up and everyone is heading to bed he can finally lock his door and send the SOS.
I can't be without you right now.